Monday, December 31, 2018

Security PSA

I, like most of you, do my heavy thinking when I am cleaning up the kitchen.  I scrub pots and think about the steps I should take if we ever have a super big earthquake.  I load the dishwasher and contemplate a rational argument with a liberal.  And the other night, I started thinking about how hard it must be for serial killers in our current world.  Stay with me, I'm going somewhere with this.  Before, they could stalk their victim and then make their move.  Today, they have to avoid so many security cameras.  It seems that every intersection , business and front door has a camera.  This train of thought led me to thinking about kidnapping.  Now, personally, my plan is to go limp if they ever try to get me.  Have you ever tried to wrangle a limp, protesting two year old?  I have and barely succeeded.  I can confirm that I am not two, nor do I weigh what a two year old weighs.  I think with my arms over my head and body limp, it would take a lot of determination to move me.  I also plan to spit, scream, and if necessary, pee myself to make me not worth the trouble of kidnapping.  So, if one day, I do come up missing, get that footage from some camera.  It will be definitely be worth your time!

Back to the matter at hand.  These serial killers also have to be aware of Apple watches and smart phones.  You can send a SOS signal from them to get help.  Which make me start thinking, how do I activate the SOS signal from my watch?  I feel if it has that function, I should know how to use it because smart watch plus dumb person equals dumb watch.  So, yes, I most certainly looked it up.  And here is your PSA for the day.  If you are in trouble, press and hold the side button on your watch.  Continue to hold it until the slide bar appears.  If possible, slide the bar.  If not, continue holding it.  It will do a count down then notify the police with your coordinates.  And then hopefully, help will be on the way!

While "researching" this, I sort of fell down a rabbit hole and I now know that my watch also has a "Fall function".  If you have a heart attack and fall really hard, your watch will notify the police that you need help.  If you are clumsy and fall super hard, it might still work.

PSA over.  What do you think about while doing the dishes?  And don't say dishes.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Bracken Blurbs

#1- Sunday Morning, I was standing by the door getting ready to head to Sunday School when a lady came in.  She looked at me and said, "You look wider." I cheerfully replied, "Thank you!" Everyone left that conversation confused. (I HAVEN'T gained a pound!  I weighed myself.)

#2- Today, Abbey was going to clean the blender after making a smoothie.  We clean it by rinsing it out, adding water and soap and blending to get the blades clean.  The lid sadly wasn't fully pushed down.  It was her first shower in the kitchen.  And now, my counters, my walls, my cabinets, and my floor are super clean.

#3- I was talking with my Mom in Alabama and she mentioned that Alaska had a big earthquake.  She then ask me if we felt it over here.  I told her that I didn't know, but she is probably closer to Alaska than I am, so did she feel it?  And she is indeed closer.  800 miles closer to Anchorage than I am.  It turns out that she didn't feel it either! (Y'all better not tell her I told this story!)

Monday, October 1, 2018

Hello!

Hi there. I imagine that you have come here looking for something to read.  And all you see are the same stories that have been here for a couple of years.  Let me try to explain.  I love to write and I seem to have an extra amount of things happen to me that are amusing.  And for a time, my kids were little and cute and said the funniest things that I wanted to record and remember.  But then they grew up.  And they didn't want everything I found amusing to be shared on the internet.  Well, they didn't care if I shared, they just cared if people read them.  I can respect that even if I don't really like it.  I tried to invoke a law about if you give birth to someone and spend years (Years!) awake with them at night, you get to share stories until you die.  I was vetoed. And to be honest, it threw me into a writers slump.

But, I enjoy writing and I miss it.  So, I'm going to start again.  It's true.  I am busy.  But it is also true that you make time for the things you want to make time for. So for now, I'll be seeing you.